Women Who Think Too Much by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

Women Who Think Too Much by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

Author:Susan Nolen-Hoeksema [Nolen-Hoeksema, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
Published: 2009-06-17T23:00:00+00:00

I’m sure I could have done something differently. After all, we were in love when we got married, despite what my mother thought. What happened that Bill lost interest in me? Could it be because he went on to get more education and I didn’t? Does he think I’m boring or stupid? He sure doesn’t think my work is worth talking about. Is it my weight? He can eat anything and stay trim, but I can’t even look at a cookie without gaining a pound. I think it was a mistake for me to start working nights. I like it because it’s less hectic, but maybe that’s just a sign that I’m not very motivated about my work. I am boring. I have no hobbies. I have no friends. No wonder he wants to leave me. I wouldn’t want to be married to such a slug, either.

When it came time to go to work that evening, Sherri had gotten no sleep and was almost dizzy with fatigue. She knew it wouldn’t be safe for her to take care of sick children that night, so she called in sick. By the time Bill finally arrived home around midnight, Sherri was a complete wreck, psychologically and physically. She heard him come through the door and roused herself out of bed, where she had been staring at the ceiling, thoughts flying, for an hour. She entered the kitchen to find him opening a beer, and said in a tentative voice, “Bill, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things.” Without looking at her, he said, “Forget it. I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” He walked past her, planting a perfunctory kiss on her head, and went into the bedroom. Sherri just stood at the entrance to the kitchen, shaking her head, knowing he must really be mad to be so silent and taciturn. He didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t think their marriage was worth talking about, she was sure.

The next several days were like living in an ice palace. Neither Bill nor Sherri brought up the anniversary, the trip to Cleveland, or what Sherri had said to Bill on the phone. They just passed each other in the house, like roommates who were just sharing the rent. Sherri found the plane tickets to Cleveland on Bill’s dresser when she returned home from work on Wednesday morning, so she knew he was still going. Later that day, he called home when he knew she would be out and left a message on the answering machine, saying he would be leaving Thursday afternoon and returning late Sunday night, and that he’d take his car and park it at the airport.

By the time Bill left on Thursday, Sherri was a complete wreck. She had hardly slept since she’d blown up at Bill the previous week. She kept replaying what she’d said to him in her head, sometimes feeling the anger behind her words full force again, and sometimes kicking herself for having said such stupid things.


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